This week: the Dan Brown clusterfuck, Amish smut, and some fantastic author lists from HTMLGIANT, along with your pick-me-up, after the jump.

Amish romance novels are so hot right now.

In response to HTMLGIANT’s Blake Butler’s list of “15 Towering Literary Figures” and Christopher Higgs’ list of “15 Significant Contemporary Women Writers,” Michael Schaub makes his own list: “15 Rich-Ass Authors I’ve Suddenly Decided to Like.”

Did You Know: there are over 168 million books in the world.

The MPAA is cracking down on film previews, and thank God, because they were really a menace to society.

Ah, “A Subtextual Reading of Your High-School French Textbook” from McSweeney’s really takes me back.

The Globe and Mail’s Brian Joseph Davis edits Dan Brown, who is also alleged to have brought sexy back. Speaking of whom, fun fact: Dan Brown and David Foster Wallace were in the same creative writing class at Amherst College.

In recent doomsday news, all free library of Philadelphia Branch, Regional, and Central Libraries have closed. But on the other hand, the Harvard library director says that the book is not dead! Hooray!

And now this week’s pick-me-up: