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The "Great" GatsbyNewsflash: being shifty-eyed can boost your creativity. Excellent.

Palin poetry.

Computer says Jane Austen and Charles Dickens are not good writers at all. Computer says no.

A Portrait of the “Artist” as a Young Man, The “Great” Gatsby, and other great works of literature made sarcastic by quotation marks. [Thanks, Courtney!]

Mikhail Kalashnikov, the inventor of the AK-47 assault rifle–beloved by violent guerilla troops around the world–secretly always wanted to be a poet.

Coming soon: a vampire romantic comedy. No, really.

Speaking of teh vampyrz: Stephenie Meyer is starting to get a little tired of vampires. Sigh. I will leave the snark to you, my dear friends. I’m just going to go lie down somewhere for a little while.

Word nerdery.

This week in author quotes: Cormac McCarthy says, “I’m not interested in writing short stories. Anything that doesn’t take years of your life and drive you to suicide hardly seems worth doing.” Maya Angelou says, “I’m as fine as wine in the summertime.”

Oxford’s Word of the Year 2009 is “unfriend.” What.

If you’re into book cover design: top 10 book covers of the ’00s.

Aaaand to get you through the rest of the week, your pick-me-up:

Built a Time Machine to Kill Hitler

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  • Check out @ElectricLit's new video--beautiful. http://ow.ly/2wRkf 3 days ago
  • New FREE BOOK FRIDAY: Attempts at a Life by Danielle Dutton, courtesy of @TarpaulinSky. Quirky & moving stories. Pls RT! http://ow.ly/2vOap 6 days ago
  • New FREE BOOK FRIDAY: "The Puppet" by Reif Larsen, brought to you by the good folks at @onestorymag. Good luck & pls RT! http://ow.ly/2suaB 1 week ago
  • How writing is like boxing. http://ow.ly/2rgQR 2 weeks ago
  • This Week: deliciously awful literary mashups, introducing the Facebook novel, Quasimodo was real (kind of) & more. http://ow.ly/2rgO5 2 weeks ago