You have to learn to approach a sex scene like you would any other – it’s not hard to maintain a voice or style during a sex scene unless you tell yourself it is. It doesn’t have to, though. Any more than a scene of a guy walking into a bar and ordering a beer has to be.

And yes, arousing post.

-Haley Wulfman
http://the-second-look.blogspot.com

How a writer approaches writing sex, I think, can reveal much about their personal life, their creativity, their honesty, their storytelling prowess.

not long after i read a non-fiction piece by nick hornby (probably in the polysyllabic spree, but i’m not possitive). in very plain language he described his eyes glazing over when reading them and during attempts to write them. he said he found it more compelling to write around most encounters.

i remembered this months later when i was revisiting what i’d written and decided to cut the scene out. in its place i had my protagonist (who was waiting a certain amount of time before joining the woman in the bar bathroom) think about anything but following her into the bathroom. the only overt reference to what was about to happen was the narrator indicating how much time had passed. when the clock ran out, the character left the bar stool, crossed the room and the door closed behind him. end of scene.

the rising tension was much more satisfying to write and (also satisfyingly) went over very well with my writing group.

it was a good challenge.

thanks for the post!

Okay, maybe that was over-paraphrasing. The point being, sometimes the most awkward, bizarre, or dysfunctional sex scenes are the ones we remember the most.

I’ve only tried two sex scenes in as many manuscripts. The first was overly explicit, the second much more subtle – and I ended it before things got too graphic. So far, my female beta readers vastly preferred the second.