Christmas carols. They’re inescapable this time of year, they’re waiting for you behind every corner. From diners and taxicabs to lobbies and laundry mats, these upbeat tunes are there to get you all fuzzy and drunk on the spirit of Christmas, whether you want to or not. However, the next time you hear one of these jaunty jingles, you should listen a little bit closer. What you’ll hear in the margins of some of these songs may surprise you. Some of our most popular carols, songs that we’ve all probably sung along to at some point or another, actually contain dark undertones of melancholy and aggression.
Santa Claus is Coming to Town
This is the first one I thought of. Written back in the height of the Great Depression by Haven Gillespie and J. Fred Coots, “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” is one of our cultural touchstones; it’s been covered by hundreds of our most beloved singers, it’s spawned several wholesome movies, etc. However, if you strip away the catchy melody and just look at the lyrics, you’ll notice that the song really is an explicit warning for children to shut up and be good – or else! Santa is presented as an omnipotent, omnipresent figure, who “sees when you are sleeping, knows when you’re awake…” The poor children he rules over had better not cry; they better be good, as the song ominously warns, “…for goodness sake!” This carol is a perfect way for parents to subtly control their children, and, during the Great Depression, it also provided a convenient excuse for why their parents didn’t buy them any presents. (Sorry Timmy, Santa saw you pulling Susie’s hair, you don’t get anything this year, you punk. Never mind that we’re completely destitute.) No wonder it sold 400,000 copies in sheet music the day after it first premiered on the radio. It’s a classic — parents love it, and I’m sure they will use it to terrify their children into behaving for decades to come.
Baby It’s Cold Outside
Penned by Broadway tunesmith Frank Loesser in 1944, this is the one that probably freaks me out the most. Again, if you strip away all the strings and cutesy back and forth crooning, you’re left with a very un-Christmasy scene; a guy trying to get his date wasted enough to put out at the end of the night. The lyrics speak for themselves; here are some choice selections, the male part in bold:
I really can’t stay – Baby it’s cold outside
I’ve got to go away – Baby it’s cold outside
The neighbors might think – Baby, it’s bad out there
Say, what’s in this drink – No cabs to be had out there
I ought to say no, no, no, sir – Mind if I move a little closer
I simply must go – Baby, it’s cold outside
The answer is no – Ooh baby, it’s cold outside
My sister will be suspicious – Man, your lips look so delicious
But don’t you see – How can you do this thing to me
I’ll make it worth your while baby
Ahh, do that again.
Yikes. Notice how the male part dominates and eventually ends the song. In a very telling move, all the original sheet music for this song referred to the female voice as “the mouse” and the male voice as “the wolf.” Despite, or maybe because of its subtly dark subject matter, this song won an Academy Award in 1949.
I’ll Be Home For Christmas
While this carol lacks the aggressive undertones of the previous two tunes, it makes up for it with its complete and abject melancholy. Simple, written almost like a poem, “I’ll Be Home For Christmas” chronicles the homesickness, and alienation of spending the holidays alone. “Christmas Eve will find me/ Where the lovelight gleams/ I’ll be home for Christmas/ If only in my dreams.” Heavy. But wait, it gets heavier. Written by Buck Ram when he was a “homesick 16-year-old away at college,” the song debuted in 1943 at the height of World War II, where it struck a chord with freezing and homesick soldiers, all of whom were estranged from their families. In fact, Bing Crosby’s version of the song became the most requested track at USO shows, and Yank, the GI magazine, said that because of the tune, Crosby accomplished more for American morale than anyone else of that era. Just don’t throw it on in the middle of your yuletide bash and expect everyone to start grooving.
Frosty the Snowman
Okay, this last one is maybe a bit more of a stretch. I don’t know though, am I the only one who thinks that a giant, disembodied snowman thump thump thumping down the street, melting away, dying an agonizing death in front of the very children who summoned him, is kind of macabre? Sure, he starts off “alive as he can be,” but don’t forget that, “Frosty the snowman knew/ The sun was hot that day,” and that he was doomed to die and melt away. He gallivants around with the kids for a bit, and then he stumbles off to melt, alone, prophesying his return: “But he waved goodbye saying/ Don’t you cry/ I’ll be back again some day.” The whole thing freaks me out. Maybe it’s just me, or maybe it’s this video of a Frosty the Snowman cartoon from the thirties I found, which is one of the greatest and most terrifying things I’ve seen this year. If you want, you can skip ahead to 3:00, where Frosty animates and goes on an insane killing spree through the wilds of the North Pole. It isn’t until they activate the northern lights to melt him that his destructive rampage comes to an end. And on that note, have a very merry Christmas!
Frosty the Snowman (aka the scariest thing you will ever watch):
