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Vonnegut Interviews Himself, Silly (But Still Good) Tips for Writers

JK Evanczuk / Wednesday, March 3, 2010 Comments Off

vonnegut needlepoint

Vonnegut-inspired needlepoint.

Speaking of, here is an interesting interview with Kurt Vonnegut, which The Paris Review composited from four interviews done with the author over the past decade, so it’s more like an interview “conducted with himself, by himself.” Via The Rumpus.

Here is a question I would like an answer to: why is there no Jewish Narnia?

I hope you enjoyed all those great writing tips from The Guardian over the past few weeks. Now the parodies (sort of) have arrived:

From Probably just a story, via HTMLGIANT:

3. If your plot is too exciting or moving too fast, enhance realism by making your characters stop for a meal at an ethnic restaurant. Describe each course and allow your characters to re-cap the plot so far.

13. Write what you know, especially you white people out there.

From The Measure:

1. All of humanity’s power and complexity can be found in season two of Star Trek: Next Generation.

3. Write in your underpants.

From The Globe and Mail, via Bookninja:

1. Never snack while writing; consume only complete meals – a starch, two vegetables and one serving lean protein (remember that one serving is about the size of a pack of playing cards.)

2. Marry somebody who will cook this.

9. If an irate reader should break into your home, tie you to a chair and terrorize you with selections from the cutlery drawer, think back to your most recent novel. Was its point of view inconsistent? Did you at any time make use of the second person, or urban slang, even ironically? Did you attempt to underscore the significance of an action by describing it as having been performed “to the max”? If the answer to any of these questions is yes, accept what you have coming.

Aaaaand because I love you, here is a video of a reinterpretation of Hamlet, which demonstrates how the play would have ended much differently if Ophelia had a sassy gay friend:

I like his top.

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