Comments on: Writing About Grief: Just Tell the Truth http://www.litdrift.com/2010/07/29/writing-about-grief-just-tell-the-truth/ Storytelling in the 21st Century Thu, 09 Feb 2012 21:02:56 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.2 By: Stephanie http://www.litdrift.com/2010/07/29/writing-about-grief-just-tell-the-truth/comment-page-1/#comment-2724 Stephanie Fri, 27 Aug 2010 19:58:24 +0000 http://www.litdrift.com/?p=5360#comment-2724 Real pain can be detected in writing as well. As someone who has gone through grief, I can tell when the author has truly lived through it, or is merely trying to give a close description. I agree that taking notes of the process is one of the only ways to truly show it. Real pain can be detected in writing as well. As someone who has gone through grief, I can tell when the author has truly lived through it, or is merely trying to give a close description. I agree that taking notes of the process is one of the only ways to truly show it.

]]> By: Bill http://www.litdrift.com/2010/07/29/writing-about-grief-just-tell-the-truth/comment-page-1/#comment-2633 Bill Mon, 09 Aug 2010 15:09:18 +0000 http://www.litdrift.com/?p=5360#comment-2633 There's another angle to writing grief that, if pressed, some of us might cop to: the vicarious variety. It's hard enough to watch a close friend or loved one go through their own grief hell without admitting that, as writers, you're taking copious notes about the process. It feels vaguely dirty, or at the least intrusive. Having said that, I've done it and I'll probably do it again. Writers can't be picky about the source of their inspiration. There’s another angle to writing grief that, if pressed, some of us might cop to: the vicarious variety. It’s hard enough to watch a close friend or loved one go through their own grief hell without admitting that, as writers, you’re taking copious notes about the process. It feels vaguely dirty, or at the least intrusive. Having said that, I’ve done it and I’ll probably do it again. Writers can’t be picky about the source of their inspiration.

]]> By: Jennifer http://www.litdrift.com/2010/07/29/writing-about-grief-just-tell-the-truth/comment-page-1/#comment-2614 Jennifer Thu, 05 Aug 2010 18:33:51 +0000 http://www.litdrift.com/?p=5360#comment-2614 How 'bout this: "I felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest, pounded with a meat tenderizer and then shoved back in." Yowzah - it hurts just remembering it! How ’bout this: “I felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest, pounded with a meat tenderizer and then shoved back in.” Yowzah – it hurts just remembering it!

]]> By: Mark Barrett http://www.litdrift.com/2010/07/29/writing-about-grief-just-tell-the-truth/comment-page-1/#comment-2574 Mark Barrett Thu, 29 Jul 2010 17:31:02 +0000 http://www.litdrift.com/?p=5360#comment-2574 I think there's a difference between processing grief (including knowing it in all its horrors), and using it as an ingredient. You're quite right that the only way to use it reliably is to know the truth of it, and yet of course none of us would wish that kind of pain on anyone. For myself, I'm never comfortable writing about real people in my life (either publicly or privately). I have too great a sense of my own interest in privacy and of my obligation to maintain the privacy of others' -- and particularly I've been close to. I do not feel my relationships are fodder for my art/craft (and I'm not saying you do either). My hope is that writing helps you process what you're going through. I'm not writing about my grief, except to the extent that I referenced it here (mostly by way of explanation for an interruption in my blogging): http://www.ditchwalk.com/2010/05/29/writing-grief/ Having said all that, if you can write of grief with conviction, then yes -- you have something honest you can say to the rest of us. There's nothing more to good writing than telling the truth, and yet maddeningly so many seem to miss this point. My own solace is in knowing that I have the craft knowledge to do so if I want to, and it's that availability that I cling to when the winds pick up. I think there’s a difference between processing grief (including knowing it in all its horrors), and using it as an ingredient. You’re quite right that the only way to use it reliably is to know the truth of it, and yet of course none of us would wish that kind of pain on anyone.

For myself, I’m never comfortable writing about real people in my life (either publicly or privately). I have too great a sense of my own interest in privacy and of my obligation to maintain the privacy of others’ — and particularly I’ve been close to. I do not feel my relationships are fodder for my art/craft (and I’m not saying you do either).

My hope is that writing helps you process what you’re going through. I’m not writing about my grief, except to the extent that I referenced it here (mostly by way of explanation for an interruption in my blogging):

http://www.ditchwalk.com/2010/05/29/writing-grief/

Having said all that, if you can write of grief with conviction, then yes — you have something honest you can say to the rest of us. There’s nothing more to good writing than telling the truth, and yet maddeningly so many seem to miss this point. My own solace is in knowing that I have the craft knowledge to do so if I want to, and it’s that availability that I cling to when the winds pick up.

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