Jealousy scares me. It scares me in relationships, and it certainly scares me when it’s connected to my career. It’s a sneaky emotion; silently climbing into my chest and then sticking it’s claws in when I least expect it. I’ll be walking along, enjoying my goodness and my dedicated moral compass, when all of sudden I’ll read about someone else’s success and feel my knees buckle under the weight of envy.
I was born with a nice, thick jealous streak. But you know what? Jealousy can be undone. It can’t be un-felt, but it can be lessened. Because after all, isn’t jealousy just a quick way of saying insecure?
As artists, we’re freely entering into a world full of people who can do it better. They can schmooze better, they can land deals better, they can just plain write better and will most assuredly become successful before us. Now that we know the slight craptasticness of this world, let’s allow a thought to seep into our brains: just because someone else achieves their dream, doesn’t mean there isn’t room for us.
A wise professor once told me that one person’s success will never negate mine. It’s a simple thought, but it was revolutionary to a perfectionist mind like mine. You mean I don’t have to panic when So And So gets an agent before me? You mean all the good agents of the world aren’t already taken?
If you truly want to succeed, it’s impossible to ignore the company of the Green Eyed Monster every once in a while, but you can send it on its way very quickly if you practice the lost art of being happy for someone else’s success. Know that whatever they’re achieving at the moment, it’s not going to ruin your chances of realizing that same dream. The only way to truly ruin your chances is to let jealousy pee on your floor – because everyone can smell a bitter artist.
Let’s be clear here, I’m not Buddha. Not even close. I get triggered just as much as the next person when a good friend lands a deal or a production or hell, even a job – but the more I lean into the fact wishing them well is the first step towards truly believing in myself, the easier it is to calm the hell down and just be happy for them. I want to be secure in my talent, but if I’m spending all my time obsessing about someone else, how am I ever going to cultivate that kind of grounded contentment?
It’s a big horse pill to swallow, but loving thy neighbor’s success will not only help you become a happier person, it’ll stop you from ever becoming that brooding writer in the corner who smells like cheap whiskey and resentment. Because really, who wants to talk to that guy?
