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This Week: Why You Should Proofread, Funny Mini Essays, Sassy Librarians

By JK Evanczuk on Wednesday, April 21, 2010 - Comments Off

Lewis Carroll’s original Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland manuscript.

That’s “freshly ground black pepper,” not “freshly ground black people”: why you should proofread.

29 mini essays by Joe Brainard, via. Some samples:

AMERICA
That a giant economy-sized box of “Supreme—Three Ply—Extra Soft—De Luxe” cleansing tissues only costs 39¢ ought, it would seem, to restore one’s faith in something.

PEOPLE
If I’m as normal as I think I am, we’re all a bunch of weirdos.

PRIDE
Pride creates its own banana peels.

The Hypothetical Library invents new books by well-known authors, via.

Aaand because it’s hump day, here are some sassy librarians. Read more »

If Lewis Carroll Had Written Twilight: An Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland/Twilight Mashup

By JK Evanczuk on Monday, November 23, 2009 - Comments Off

Bella was wandering through the forest, talking to herself as she went, till, on turning a sharp corner, she came upon two little men, so suddenly that she could not help starting back, but in another moment she recovered herself, feeling sure they that they must be real.

They were standing under a tree, each with an arm round the other’s neck, and though they had looked very nearly the same from far away, now that she was closer Bella could see that they were rather different indeed, for one of them very pale-skinned and had large, pointy teeth, and the other’s face was covered entirely in russet-coloured fur. “Oh, my!” Bella said to herself. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen a stranger-looking pair in all my life!”

The little man with the sharp teeth stood very still, and if it wasn’t for his twin distractedly scratching his own fur—”As though he has fleas!” Bella thought with a shudder—she would have quite forgot they were alive. She was just inching her way past the pair, doing her best to keep well away from the flea-ridden one, when she was startled by a voice coming from the little man with the very sharp teeth.

“My name is Edward. And this is Jacob. Who are you?” he said. “And would you tell me, please, why do you smell so very good?” Read more »

10 minutes