Let’s be real, here: grief sucks.  It sucks so, so bad.  On the list of Emotions That Are Hard To Deal With, grief is at the top, florescent and harsh and without a hint of remorse.

When you’re drowning in grief, it’s like the world stops, the air goes out, and all you can see and hear is the echoing of your own pain.  Running from it is impossible, and it clings to you for much, much longer than it should.  It grabs your neck and punches your heart and laughs while you shrink down onto the floor or collapse onto the bed; grief doesn’t give a shit.

Which is why it’s so hard to write when you’re not directly feeling it. Read more »

Uh oh... hope you have a second floor to effectively trap yourself in...

Let’s count together.

I’m a twenty-something wayward unemployed film school graduate just looking for some purpose in life (1).  Last week, I got a call from my temp agency to cover at Lincoln Center.  The mere mention of Lincoln Center sends me reeling into intense longing for my high school life as a theatre geek – a time where I knew what I wanted and had everything I needed (2).  On my way to my first day at work, I find myself in a daydream like state wondering what it’d be like to once again be surrounded by theatre (3).  Suddenly remembering how impractical daydreaming is during a Manhattan morning commute, I leave my subconscious to find that my Metrocard won’t swipe (when I was last employed, we didn’t have to worry about Metrocards with just 20 cents leftover on them chilling in our purses) and a mob of angry New Yorkers has collected behind me (4).  I rush through the turnstiles, embarrassed and with the sudden realization that, oh gosh, I’m going to be late! I run to the platform to find that the first five cars are packed but see an empty space just about my size in the sixth car and I slip in just as the doors close (5).  I sigh audibly, demonstrating clearly to those around me how relieved I am (6).  But then, what’s this (7)? A familiar face.  I look away, wondering… could it be? Is that who I think it is? Is it the face of the hellish side of high school I had forgotten until just now right here in front of me in the only available spot on the train after five years of living lives away from each other? Yep, it’s her.  She stares a hole into my face as I become a bumbling idiot in my attempt to push through the packed car to avoid the possibility of conversation (8).  I arrive at the office, flustered but intact, only to find myself surrounded by bomb-sniffing dogs and snipers – what the hell (9)?  A passerby informs me that the President of the United States (oh, hey Obama) just happens to be in the same building this morning (10).

Okay… so what’s the count? 10 movie clichés – 8 of which I experienced before 9am.  I guarantee you I will have at least 10 more before the end of the day.  Read more »